| June 4th will mark my three years of being single anniversary. Some people may see this as a tragedy. A horrible time filled with agony, pain, heartbreak and sorrow. In fact, it has been the complete opposite. I think this has been the best 2 years, 7 months and 9 days of my life!! Yes, I calculated my it because that is a long time for happiness to accumulate. Two years, 7 months and 9 days ago, I was unhappy, confused, and wanted something different with my life even though it meant having to change everything I knew around in order for it t occur. And what a difference it has made. I became a mother. A real mother. One who is happy with her life because a depressed parent's mood rubs off on their children. I didn't want Mia to see me like that. Now we are best friends. We make fun of each other, laugh, fight, punch each other and love one another. It's great! It's beautiful. It's lovely. I realized I deserve the best in life and so does everyone else. I learned not to settle for the what you have in front of you. There's always something else out there that's shinier, prettier, more valuable, so don't be lazy go find it. Search until you are content. I realized I shouldn't date people just because I feel sorry for them. It's not fair for both parties. I guess that's another reason for my single spell. I've learned to be picky. Yes, there have been suitors around, but I don't waste their time nor my own. If I or you don't like something, I leave so you can find someone who will make you happy.
From that, I also learned I NEED liberal, open minded, & accepting people in my life. I'm a weirdo. End of story. I got to live! I got to travel. Smell the humid morning Atlanta air, salty Hilton Head wind, crisp DC atmosphere, and polluted New York smog. I wouldn't have been able to admire the world around me had I been in the same situation I was in over 2 years ago. Many times, I find myself stopping and just breathing, loving the fact that I'm alive. (If your attentive, you can see me doing it. =P)
I got to have fun. I got to party with my friends, laugh until we cried, slapped each other, hug each other, done things mama wouldn't be proud of, probably should have gotten arrested a couple times, and done some things that may be classified as "illegal". But hey! Who hasn't??
I also got time to be alone and look at where I'm going with my life. Who will I help? Who will I save? How can I impact someone's life in any way possible? How will I make my family proud? Overall, I got to be free. And I think that's the part of me that many people don't understand. I tell people "I want do this! And I want to be bad! And I want to get that while doing this on top of those!!" And everyone says "Raven, you're not like that. You're not going to do any of it." To me, it's the fact that I have the ability to make all of my fantasies come true without consequences or fear. That's what I love. You don't actually appreciate what you are capable of doing until your freedom is taken away. So, that is what 953 days single life has done for me. I've become such a happier, freer, confident person who can actually say loves herself.
"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."
-Robert Frost |
